Uncomfortable Truths with Rxan Smith
Thanksgiving Special 2025 – New Rules: The Bill Maher Edition (Jersey to Jersey)
Happy Thanksgiving, you beautiful train wrecks.
I’m Rxan Smith, 42, born and bred in New Jersey—same as the patron saint of not giving a fuck: Bill Maher.
And yeah… I’m about to praise Bill Maher on the internet in 2025, so if you’re already typing “pick a side, coward” in the comments—congrats, you’re the exact reason I’m doing this.
Real Time’s been on 22 years. That’s my entire politically awake life.
When I was 20, two years after 9/11, Bill got canceled for saying the hijackers weren’t cowards. ABC shit-canned him. HBO said, “Come say whatever the hell you want.” Legend.
I was a Republican cheering Bush. Then I watched Fox turn good people into rage zombies who’d defend waterboarding as long as it had an (R) next to it.
So I walked away… and there was Bill already waiting, going, “Yeah, the left just started their own cult. Grab a seat.”
He’s not a centrist. Calling him a centrist implies the left and right are anywhere near the center. They’re not. They’re doing donuts in the parking lot while the adults are inside trying to have a conversation.
I don’t want to be in the “center” of two burning clown cars.
I’ll take independent with a side of existential dread, thanks.
Tonight I’m stealing his format one last time.
These are New Rules – Dedicated to Bill Maher, the only guy telling both sides to go fuck themselves for three decades and still has a job.
New Rule:
If you’re still pretending “globalize the intifada” is a civil-rights slogan and not a trendy way to call for Jewish genocide, you’re not pro-Palestine—you’re pro-pogrom with better branding and a keffiyeh from Urban Outfitters.
(And if that just made you rage-quit this video… thanks for proving my point louder than I ever could.)
New Rule:
I’d rather be called a bigot by both sides than a good little soldier by one.
New Rule:
If you spent years calling borders racist and now you’re shocked 15 million people showed up and your kid’s school looks like the UN cafeteria, your empathy was always gated-community cosplay.
New Rule:
Having black and gay friends doesn’t make you woke. Pretending their race and sexuality are the most interesting things about them? That’s the new racism, now with rainbow sprinkles.
New Rule:
Stop saying Bill Maher “went right.” He didn’t move an inch. The left sprinted off a cliff chasing 97 genders while the right moonwalked into election denial and uterus cops. Bill just stood still and watched both teams disappear.
And finally… one long, uncut Thanksgiving New Rule:
New Rule:
America, quit acting like your side is morally pure and the other side is Satan’s book club.
We all see it. The Never-Trump Republicans who haven’t admitted who they voted for since 2016. The old-school liberals hiding because “color-blind” is apparently hate speech now.
You’re not alone. You’re the majority. You’re just quiet because the loudest 10% convinced you common sense makes you the asshole.
Fuck that.
This Thanksgiving look across the table at your MAGA uncle and your “Free Palestine” niece and remember: they’re not the enemy.
The enemy is the algorithm that turned family into enemy combatants so billionaires can rob us while we scream about pronouns and walls.
Raise your glass to the exhausted majority.
Raise your glass to the people who show up when your house burns down, not the ones who block you for wrongthink.
And raise your glass to Bill Maher—the last honest liberal in America who never joined a cult and never stopped saying what we’re all thinking.
Bill, this bird’s for you, brother.
Two Jersey loudmouths just ruined timelines across America. You’re welcome.
Now drop your most politically homeless hot take in the comments.
Best one gets pinned. Worst one gets personally roasted by me.
Let’s make these comments the Thanksgiving table the algorithm doesn’t want us to have.
Go.
Happy Thanksgiving, you glorious, broken, perfect messes.
Now pass the fucking gravy before I start crying into the cranberry sauce.
I’m Rxan Smith.
This has been Uncomfortable Truths.
New Rule: The center isn’t dead.
It’s just waiting for the rest of you to grow the fuck up.
Goodnight.
And Bill… thank you. Seriously.
(cigarette out in the gravy boat, walks off to “Fortunate Son”)
